Then how come it isn’t?

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The last time I kissed her, I kissed her with a little more passion than our lungs could hold on to. I let my hands pull her in, and my eyes close to make sure I remembered what she was like.
She tasted like a Monday morning I didn’t hate and dirty coffee mugs of the night before. She tasted like grocery shopping where we ended up with just a stick of gum, and the cashier gave our smiles and giggles a weird glance cause clearly we shouldn’t shop at 3 A.M? She tasted of sunrays and tanned skin, and of crazy ways to seduce each other. She tasted like a cold November night on the terrace with my arms around her and her head on my chest and our eyes on the stars. She tasted like broken frames and mended hearts and salty tears and not being able to stay apart.
She reminded me of the time I ran my fingers through her hair, and she ran her fingers through the knots in my souls. She reminded me of the time I kissed her salty skin right after coming out of the sea, and her fingers holding onto my wet hair and pulling me in. She reminded me of sleeping all day and watching Barney all night. She reminded me of soft chuckles, and loud moans.
She was my ‘Irish’ coffee and she was the Rachel to my Ross. She reminded me of moonlight on her knees as I trailed my fingers up. She reminded me of empty bottles and half-eaten snickers. She reminded me of promises that smelled of chocolate cookies and assurances of being in Wonderland if I ever fell again.
She tasted like an eternity and reminded me of the fault in our stars. We could not end up together, but we did have a bigger infinity than we ever imagined we could have. She was the Robin to my Barney and the little forever she gave me was legen – wait for it – dary.
Didn’t you think you’d meet someone, fall in love and that’d be it?


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Related post : Kisses and cravings.

Fairy-tale love.

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“Someday you”ll be old enough to start reading fairy-tales again.” – C.S. Lewis

He was real. She didn’t think he would be.
The first time he laughed,
it was like fireworks in the night sky.
She could look at him and
see all the hues of emotions that colored his skin
as his lips curled from one end to another.
She could hear the waterfalls crashing hard against the broken stones
as he giggled like a child who’d just found a new toy.
She felt his chuckle spread warmth to her cheeks and
the corner of her eyes creased
like the white shirt he was wearing.
It was beautiful.
He was beautiful.

He always kept his word.
He made the chocolate chip cookies he had promised on a Sunday morning,
and he stayed while I cried at 3:04 am.
He expressed himself with a tint of mystery,
but with no boring exaggeration.
He wrote me letters,
on tiny post-its
The words he wrote, are probably what my favorite novel holds.
He made me breakfast,
And took me out on dates.
He had the exotic manners
of a fuckboy,
and the raw sexuality
of one, too.
But he had the intentions of a wallflower,
the introvert with faith rimmed spectacles,
and a love stained tee.

He could cook my favorite Madeleines.
He could dance,
And spin me around in circles till I fall into his arms,
As he picks me up and we make out,
On the way to bed.
I knew he was my fairy-tale love,
When we grabbed me by the waist,
pushed me against a wall, and held my hands above my head,
Looked me in the eye till I couldn’t just look anymore,
I kissed him for the first time.
And my foot just pops up.


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Related post : Cinderella’s shoes.

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Bare waists and midriffs.

I don’t know why every time his fingers trail my bare waist, I feel much more than just the shiver of intimacy run up my spine.

I try to wander the corridors of my mind to find out why he feels much more than just someone I make out with.

I cannot help but notice that it’s much more than just his hair that I grab onto now. I often envelop his hands so tightly with mine.

I wake up late into the nights and crave for his lips to be pressed against my neck, and I fall asleep with my hands wrapped around the pillow as if it were him.

I repeatedly catch myself thinking about him as I tie my hair back into the ponytail that he obsesses over.

Whenever he picks me up, and looks me in the eye, I don’t look at his lips while biting mine anymore. Instead, I kiss his nose and his chest, and feel his heart beating against my lips. I think of his smile as his kisses just grazes my midriff.

Why do I get all excited and tensed as he softly tucks my hair behind my ear?

I don’t know.


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Hearts

“O heart, be patient” – Qur’an

My heart has been jumping around,
Quite a lot since,
I became old enough to feel it.
It beats faster,
with every sheep that I count,
one sheep,
two sheep,
and three.
Maybe it just loves to dream,
And since I’ve grown old enough,
And since the things I’ve seen,
It has become restless,
For it wants butterflies,
and flowers,
fire and gushing winds,
Empty cliffs and ferocious waves.
It wants roses,
and tequila shots,
and that one girl I just can’t walk up to.
It wants to travel to places,
that even cameras haven’t seen
places where there’s no chaos,
And everything is at peace.
It doesn’t know what’s enough,
for it still isn’t old enough,
but it’s old enough to want everything anyway.
It wants giggles,
and tears that don’t sting,
and lies for surprise parties,
instead of a casual fling.
It wants unrequited love,
adventures and crazy shit.
It wants to eat french,
and kiss Italian,
Hold tiny paws of dogs,
and look into the small eyes of cats.
It wants to live,
and not just exist.
What it does not want is to be
Naive in this world.
It wants everything good,
and everything bad.
But most of all,
it wants to be able to smile,
and let it reach the eyes.
That is all.


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Related post : What were we like?

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To my life-savers.

Dear F.R.I.E.N.D.S,

It’s been a long time, almost 14 years now. How have you managed to shape the lives of not just yourself, but millions others so wonderfully? I don’t know how many times someone has said this to all six of you, and yet I’ll say this one more time : Thank you for everything.

Monica : Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You’re gonna love it!
Your love life was a mess. Ethan, seriously? But you held on, and gave every other guy a chance to be your prince charming. You’ve had your heart broken oh so many times, and you’ve come out smiling every time. Life has thrown so many lemons at you, but you, being the amazing chef that you are, have always made the tastiest lemonades. You’ve made being organized fun for all of us. Although once in a while, I do leave glasses without coasters on the table. I am sorry?

Rachel : Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
While we were all waiting for the knock on the door, you chose the window and just completely changed your life. Dreams were your forte. I don’t know how many people thought you were crazy to do something that you love, but I do know you’ve made following dreams easier for us. You’ve shown us what we need to know the most, that it will not be easy, and that we will make it. You’ve shown us that you’d choose your lobster over the fashion capital, and what could be more important?

Phoebe : They don’t know that we know they know we know.
It really is okay to be weird, huh. Your songs alone are life changing, no wonder the kids loved you. From living on the streets, to having one of the prettiest weddings, it has been amazing, hasn’t it? Who would’ve guessed you didn’t even have a pla? You have been the craziest undercover there has ever been, Regina. To be as honest as you, it takes much more than just balls. And to be a believer, it takes just a little faith. And that’s what you’ve given us. Balls, faith, and the confidence to be real.

Chandler : What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?
Time and time again, you’ve brought out the scared side of me out into this world, and made him laugh so hard, he almost choked to death. You would be the king of Facebook and Twitter, had you not shifted to the suburbs, and disappeared. You’ve had a crappy childhood, two mothers and a defense mechanism, and you’ve used these to enjoy all of life (except some festivals) to the fullest. You’ve found your soulmate in a friend, and you have found a brother in your roommate. Could it BE any better?

Joey : How you doin?
I don’t share food, either. And I love girls on bread. That’s the best kind of sandwich, right? You weren’t the dumb one. You were the best bud. Friendship has always been a priority for you, and you’ve given us goals. You’ve told us that being an out-of-work actor is much better than being something that you don’t love. You’ve told us that it’s okay to eat everything in the fridge because it broke down. You’ve told us it is okay to be a kid in this world. What haven’t you done for a friend? I wish there were more people like you, Tribbiani.

Ross : I don’t want to get over her. I want to be with her.
I relate to you most of all. Love hasn’t really been easy for you. You tried once, and your wife became a lesbian. Tried again, but said the wrong name. And then again, when you were drunk. Three failed marriages, and you’re still the reason why people believe they will find their lobster. You loved dinosaurs, and so you followed your passion. Every time you spoke about the Jurassic period, I promise I did not fall asleep. You see, I fell in love in ninth grade too, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Let’s hope for the best?

Thank you. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I’ve found it now, all because of the six of you. The three years I have been away from what I felt was my home, would be unbearable, but you were there. Life isn’t all good, or all bad. It’s the right proportion of both. But yes, Monica. I do love it.

Yours,

Just another fan.


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