Bare waists and midriffs.

I don’t know why every time his fingers trail my bare waist, I feel much more than just the shiver of intimacy run up my spine.

I try to wander the corridors of my mind to find out why he feels much more than just someone I make out with.

I cannot help but notice that it’s much more than just his hair that I grab onto now. I often envelop his hands so tightly with mine.

I wake up late into the nights and crave for his lips to be pressed against my neck, and I fall asleep with my hands wrapped around the pillow as if it were him.

I repeatedly catch myself thinking about him as I tie my hair back into the ponytail that he obsesses over.

Whenever he picks me up, and looks me in the eye, I don’t look at his lips while biting mine anymore. Instead, I kiss his nose and his chest, and feel his heart beating against my lips. I think of his smile as his kisses just grazes my midriff.

Why do I get all excited and tensed as he softly tucks my hair behind my ear?

I don’t know.


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Palettes of life.

“So, what’s your favorite color?”

“You’ll find this weird, but my three favorite colors are sunsets, shells and rainbows.

Sunsets are a mix of hues of flaming oranges, liquid yellows and rusty reds. It’s a canvas painting where the ink hasn’t dried yet. It’s so alive, and real as one color flows deep into the rumbling depth of the others. The darkening clouds remind me of chariots of the moon, that dare to go close to the burning sun just to deliver a message. Sunsets remind me of people and promises for they are both beautiful and finite. Sunsets light up the whole world into shades of fire. The water starts burning, the sand becomes metallic, the buildings turn into dark ashes and people become silhouettes. It’s a wonderful color.

Shells are the treasures of this universe. Every shell is a different slice of the ocean, pulsating with the colors of the cloudy sky, dry skin and cookie browns. Every shell holds within them a message of the sea, a letter of love. Shells are like roadsides, and sand. The colors of the shell call out to me like a letter from home, asking me to return. The white reminds me of every empty notebook I wished I had used, the red reminds me of the blood pumping subtly through my veins, the brown reminds of the promise a friend gave me of baking cookies. The pink reminds me of the cherry blossoms, and the rare black reminds me of dark theaters.

Rainbows are the best. Everyone believes that rainbows only have seven colors, but I think of the rest of the sky as its eighth color. This last color reminds me of things that are everywhere but go unnoticed. Love, answers and a reason to live. The different colors remind of the shades of my own life. The red of her lips, the orange of autumn, the green of grass, the blue of crayons and the other fifty shades. But mostly, my favorite color is that of what you would find in the pot at the end of the rainbow. The gold reminds of hope and belief.”


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Mirages and ink bottles.

I am a pen. This might sound like a metaphorical exaggeration, or an ornamented fact, but it is what I am. Every time I hear the same song that you loved on the radio, it’s like a cut on the side of my arm, and the ink just flows out. Every nick and cut that I get onto my calloused skin, just turns into a bruise that I wear as battle scars and gripping stories. Every time I look at the sunlight through the tinted windows of my car, I cannot help but associate the golden hue to the hazel of your eyes. Every time I look at the vast emptiness that expands beyond the final steps of a cliff, I cannot help but imagine the jagged rocks hidden in snow to be my best friends crooked front teeth, or the jump to the bottom to hide stories of wonderland. You never know what’s hiding just beyond the point your eyes cannot see.

I don’t consider myself a writer, or the pen as a fancy extension of my arm. I don’t believe in using words to heal my pain, or writing as an escape from this cruel world. I don’t make routines and set time periods for the words to find a way out, and I don’t plan on keeping them inside of me where the dark waves can hit the sun drenched sand and wipe them away. I am not a lonely or broken man wandering on hot sidewalks among a cluster of thoughts and people, wondering why you left me, or why no one talks to me the way you did.

When I see the wailing child staring at the ice cream vendor as if that’s all he ever wanted, I cannot help but smile and think about the wishes I’ve had as a child and even as an adult. And when all of this stays in my mind, my brain becomes a volcanic land with words as molten ink, erupting onto snow sheets, paper lines, and electric screens. I don’t wait for the right moment or for the memorable one. I just find things beautiful, and I let you know. When an injured boy cries on the television and countries blow up, or a young girl is found dead on the streets, or you’re just the happiest you could ever be, you’ll bleed blue too. We all will. There’s nothing hiding beyond the point your eyes cannot see, except mirages and an ink bottle.


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This damn world.

This world,
It is filled with
Desperate tongues and restless emotions,
Pretty dandelions and harsh sunlight.
It is made of
Prying eyes and numbing sentiments,
Love roses and dirty soil.
It dances to the beats of
Missiles and declarations of war,
Screams of innocents and catchy tunes.
It gets excited when
A trend takes over,
A new joke is made,
They read deep quotes they don’t understand,
Or just listen to what Trump said.
In this world, where will the humans live?

This world,
It is filled with
Praising mouths and soft hearts,
Different languages yet a steady connection.
It is made of
Heart beats and homes,
Beautiful mountains and enormous waves.
It dances to the beats of
Cheerful giggles and loud exclamations,
Sweet voices and melodious music.
It gets excited when
Passports are painted,
Tickets are bought,
They try new food,
Or over five tequila shots.
In this world, where will the demons hide?


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Kisses and cravings.

“I’ll make up for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.” – Leo Christopher

The first time I kissed her, I lit up like a Christmas tree. Heat rushed to my cheeks, my cold hands warmed up, and I had goosebumps anyway.

Right before we kissed, I spent quite some time looking at her eyes. I noticed how her eyelashes curved like the corner of her lips, how her eyes were restless like the wind before a storm, how her skin made small crinkles around her eyes, and how her lips were chapped. I looked into her dancing eyes, and could hear my heart pumping the music. I grabbed her by her waist and pulled her closer like the flowers moving towards the sun. I pulled her in so that our waists were touching, and our face were only inches apart. I looked at her biting her lips, I felt her fingers cold against my neck, I placed my hand on her cheeks and leaned in.

I leaned in and kissed her and felt like this was the last time I would. The rush of blood in my veins made me hold her closer and tighter to make sure she really stays. She tasted like a sunny afternoon, chilly beaches, and tanned skin. She tasted like the wine we would open on date nights. She tasted like late night cravings, and throat burning scotch. She tasted like wild sex, funny jokes and strip poker. She tasted of shooting stars and petty wishes. She tasted like a forever.

So I kissed her passionately and tried to say the things I’d failed to say before. It seemed to be easier when no words were involved. I let my cold fingers tell her that I’d give her wintry nights, cozy blankets and hot fries. I let the loud thumping of my heart against hers tell her that I’d be just as thrilled when I kiss her after a date thirty years down the line. I let my eyelashes against her eyes tell her that above all, my only wish is to have her forever. I tell her that I’d always stay with her and watch Netflix and drink hot chocolate, rather than going out to meet people we don’t like.

I felt it. Her chest against mine, I felt her heart beating with my heart and for the first time, I realized we were both alive, as she pulled on my hair.

“The way you feel when you kiss her (him) for the first time. Like fire within your bones, like your soul has returned to the water, like every part of you that came from a dead star is alive again.” – Nikita Gill.


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