Not all dates are the same.

Before you start reading, two translations you might need – ‘baba’ means father and ‘ammi’ means mother. I hope you like this


It’s very tough to remember how a conversation played out when it has been a few years and you’ve not even thought about it once. Luckily for me, I had a map that helped me remember every important detail. This map was made out of lyrics and tunes that we sang together. The first song was an instrumental that went on for about six minutes. We spent those minutes just looking and trying to draw mental sketches of each other. I looked into her hot-chocolate brown eyes and then gazed at her cheekbones that acted as helipads for my butterflies. I spent thirty seconds just looking at her lips. I smiled when I saw her little nose and took a heavy breath when I saw her earlobe. Her lips were slightly parted and you could see the map of my favorite city in its outlines if you wanted to. I did go on a little trip.

The song changed to a faster upbeat tune. We used it for small talk and promises – you know, things that don’t matter. When I asked her about her bucket list, the song changed to ‘Ilahi’, a song for nomads. Could my nomadic heart not feel at home when I found out she had never learned to stay either? Eventually, the background score morphed into a slow song that urged me to ask her to tell me a story. I want you to listen, too.

“Baba left me and my mom for another woman when I was eight. That’s when I drew for the first time. My mother told me right away that I won’t see Baba for a long time and so, I sat down with her and we drew his pictures. Ammi really loved him. I could tell because, in her painting, Baba was still hugging her tight. I’d never learned drawing or letting go of people, so my sketch was a little different. It had a brown house right in the middle and only stick figures. To the left of the house, I stood with Ammi. I had a pink dress with green pants on and I feel that’s where my urge to dress well comes from – I don’t want to look like that girl in the sketch anymore. Anyway, to the right of the house, Baba stood all alone. My hands were long enough to stretch all the way to the other side of the painting and so I still held onto Baba in it. Just that once.”

I hugged her tight and we made out to ‘All of me’ by John Legend. Neither of us made small talk or promised to stay – you know, things that don’t matter.

We called it a date.


Previous posts: A twist of fate.
Instagram: @utsavraj_

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13 Comments

  1. Sometimes all you want is someone you could tell your stories to without any worries. Those people and those moments are rare and lovely, like what you wrote.
    ~🌸

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