My therapist in all his
self-love and happiness glory
asked me to tell you how much I loved you,
so this is it.
This is my confession.
Let’s start with something simple,
a waterslide maybe,
to ease you into this drowning sea
~ i love you.
Ever since the day I saw you
converse with an eyelash on your finger,
comforting it, cheering it
as if it was a fallen angel, I’ve
wanted to tell you your smile
is my therapist
(a huge apology to my real therapist).
We’ve had our moments
like when we kissed
under the ceiling fan of my bedroom
just because I named my fan ‘mistletoe’,
like when you sang to me,
like when I wrote you a poem you never read.
But your eyes, Chico,
I think they’ve learned to lie.
You tell me you like me but
your eyes don’t twinkle like the night sky anymore.
You look at shooting stars and smile
even though it breaks your heart
to see more angels falling.
You’ve been distant
even while your eyes have been locked on me
and it feels heartbreaking
just like when silence
is the loudest thing one knows.
You’ve broken me so bad,
my therapist and I talk only in poems.
What made this bridge?
Is it because you’re afraid I’ll turn you
into a prayer,
an eternal poem of hope and sunshine?
Are you afraid that if we fall in love,
we’ll be two flawed fallen angels?
I’ll burn every word I know
and from the ash,
build a staircase for us to rise
when we need to.
come. let’s love so passionately,
so chaotically, that we heal
every heartbreak this world has ever seen.
I have to end with something complicated,
a mountain wave of the drowning sea maybe,
to let you know how much I mean this
~ i love you.