A tale of the five senses.
Sight:
She was walking down one of the oldest and most crowded streets of the town. Men in turbans, or vests, or filthy t-shirts sat on stalls. Women sat on the ground beside the stalls and spoke sweet nothings to their sons in shorts or daughters in t-shirts too big for them. The men tried desperately to sell things to the people who walked past the stalls with indifference. The kids giggled and ran along the sides of the roads, and she saw all of this right before he blindfolded her.
Sound:
The bustle of the town slowly faded and became a distant buzz. Every step she was made to take now made a sound against something hard, probably wood. The man who had blind-folded her yelled directions now and then groaned as he walked behind her. He sounded like he dreaded his job, and he most probably did because he whined with every step. She could hear twigs breaking beneath her legs and birds chirping around her. The crows cawed loudly because they could sense her danger.
Taste:
For a long time, her mouth tasted like strawberries because that was the last thing she had eaten before the man had forcefully taken her into his car. After driving for an hour since then, they had parked somewhere near the outskirts of the city, on a very crowded road. When he blind-folded her, everything went dark and she could taste the strawberries again as her mouth dried up. Now as she was walked with the man, her tongue was dried up and she could barely speak. But she kept trying and started screaming after a long time. The man used a piece of cloth to gag her, and she could taste the cloth in her mouth.
Smell:
The first time she entered into what probably was a house (as she had heard the door shut), her nose tried to block the awful smell in the air. The man nudged her forward as she tripped with every step she took on the stairs. The smell seemed to be a mixture of dead rats and rotten wood. There was also a nauseating smell of paint that, she guessed, had been used for hiding the wood. The smell of the paint on the wood reminded her of how humans wear masks and play pretend even when they’re old.
Touch:
The man pushed her onto a bed and she hit her head onto the edge. She lost consciousness for a while, and when she came back to her senses, there were two distinct voices in the room. One was coming from very close, so she guessed he was sitting by her side. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her inner thigh and she tried to scream but the cloth just hurt her skin as the man removed her blindfold. Both of the men have evil smiles on their faces and the one sitting closest to her moved his hand higher up her thigh. Every time his fingers touched a new part of her body, she cried and died a little inside.
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I don’t know if ‘liking’ it is the right thing to do! Ah the horrid things men do!!
But your writing, it’s draws everything together. I remember when my teacher in school used to tell me that the five senses in any piece of writing is essentially important.
That’s sort of what gave me the idea. Glad you liked it!
Holy shit. This is good.
Thank you so much!
Wow! Powerful
Thank you so much, Christine.
Dude this broke me but it’s just so well written. I don’t know what to say.
Thank you for reading!
Can’t help but imagine everything in this writing. My imagination worked a little too smart/hard.
Thank you 💙
Great writing and super descriptive story! You really enhanced the story through the senses. Something I definitely need to work on myself!
Thank you so much!
:)
Actually made me nauseous. Certainly well written, especially the build up to from an open air market (which one may find exotic) to an absolute horror story–hits you out of nowhere, especially once you hit the sense of taste (there is enough ambiguity in ‘sight’ to raise one’s alarm, but not be fully aware of what exactly is happening). This was a powerful and disturbing look into the darkest aspects of human nature. Well written.
Thank you so much💙
I am in tears. :(
Nice post
Thank you.
It was difficult to continue reading but well-written story. It’s like being guided through all that she was experiencing.
Ok. It’s definitely not supposed to be read in morning right after waking up. It will stay for the whole day now. Well-written anyway..
Haha yeah I should’ve put that as a warning. Thank you for reading!
Definitely 🙏
Your writing is so vivid and wonderful. This could be published, you know. best of luck with that!
Thank you so much.
Great way to tell a story.
Thank you!
you are good man
It read as if it was taken from a true event. Very disturbing and sad. Powerful writing.
Well, there are many people who face this so it might as well read like a true event. Thank you for reading!
This is amazing!
Thank you, Anushka!
great work :)
Means a lot :)